Bidding Farewell To My Major12:15:00 PM
I know lots of hearts are getting broken by this huge announcement, but I'm quitting fashion design as a major in LAU. And this is my official goodbye letter, and explanation letter. To you, to my teachers, to my colleagues, to my friends, to my family...
I'll be explaining through this post, what was really going on in my head through my semester, and what led me to take this harsh decision.
A lot of people told me, it takes courage to quit after having spent so much time working hard for it, dreaming of it, talking about it...
And I felt like I had just disappointed people, and honestly, felt like I was doing a mistake at some point, although my first reaction to dropping my major was a HUGE ASS SMILE on my face, a feeling of relief, and a feeling of freshness.
Here's how it went down.
First, let's get it out of the way that the Fashion Design major is NOT for everyone.
I have to admit, I did well on my first two semesters in university. And I'm not judging according to my grades, I'm judging according to the outcome according to discovering myself, discovering my style, my voice...
As a blogger, a lot of these things were kind of pre-decided for me. I have learned through my years of blogging a whole lot about myself, what I like and dislike, what I want to portray, what I want to diffuse...
I would've done well on my third semester (this one) as well, if I wanted to. It's all a matter of how much work and effort you put in it. And the amount of work and effort goes back to your will. But was I even willing?
Now we know that I wasn't. Because, I dropped it.
People often said 'byelba2lik' when I said I'm a fashion design student. A.k.a. 'it suits you'.
And the reason for them saying that is their lack of knowledge.
They would directly link a certain person with a 'good style' (or whatever you want to call their fashion affair) with the job of a fashion designer. Because to them, that's all it takes.
But we can't blame them, can we? They're not in the field, it's fine if they don't know. But it's not fine when you're in the field and you don't know.
And that was my MISTAKE.
*Ugh, this is the second time I ever talk about a challenge on my blog and I always feel very self conscious. As you may know, I'm very focused on showing you the happy, positive vibe I have most times. But I'm still human, I have my down times, and I do mistakes.
And here's one that cost me 2 years of my life. Holy hell.
That being said. My mistake is the following - not getting informed enough. I blame my school. It was only allowing us to discover fields related to engineering, law, medicine... The usual, you know.
How could I have known, as a little 17 year old that I was in charge of everything that was about to come? They, of course, made it easy to those of us who weren't the artistic ones.
I'm not blaming my school alone, but all systems in Lebanon (specially), where creativity is not given enough attention, but memorizing is.
But here's an advice to all you kiddies out there - in life, you are on your own. Everyone else is just trying to figure their own shit out.
I learned that the hard way.
So you have to do your dirty work, dig in to what you want to do, and learn about yourself.
The reasons for me dropping my major is as simple as - I found myself.
Wow Tee, very dramatic moment.
No but seriously, I got a very eye-opening moment, where I realized that I was not going to end up being a fashion designer. I didn't want my life to be restricted to that. And I certainly did not want to be going through 4 years of intensive, hellish fashion designing, to end up not being a fashion designer.
That brings us to Mistake #2.
I had this great realization of 'I'm probably not going to end up being a fashion designer, but probably something like fashion journalism or marketing', not one semester, not two semesters, but three semesters ago. Yes, beginning of my previous summer semester, when I started in the fashion program, I realized, that's cool but that's not what I want to do.
So my mistake #2, is not trusting my guts all along. Don't we always blame ourselves for that? So, for those of you that are saying 'woah that takes courage', well know, that it was something I had on my mind but didn't take the risk of doing for a whole year.
I would dig into my memory to tell you more about this experience but there's something I really want to get off my chest before finalizing this post.
Something about the fashion design program in LAU.
It's hectic. It's stressful. It's competitive.
It will also make you meet amazing people, as well as awful people.
Because, hey, you get the best of both worlds.
But at the end of the day, it's all about how you can handle everything, and how you can turn things around by working and knowing what you want.
So for anyone going in that direction, I can definitely help you, answer your questions, etc.
And for anyone completely confused about where they are in life and what they want to be doing 20 years from now.
Please, for the love of all that's holy, just research, talk to pros. Don't limit yourself to what you read on the internet, what your friends/parents say. Go to the real world, talk to real people and know EVERYHTING before you make your choice.
Because my dream of 6 years just crumbled under my nose the minute I realized what it was really about.
Now, shout out to all those supporting me since day 1, and still doing so.