An Open Letter To My 30 Year Old Self

9:08:00 AM

Dear Tee, 


You just turned 30. You've been breathing for three decades. That means you've been alive for 10957 days. Let that sink in.

I'm talking to you from 2017. From your two-decades-old self. That means, I've been alive for 7306 days.




Have I achieved everything I wanted to so far? No. 
Am I where our 14 year-old self would've wanted me to be? No.
Am I pursuing our singing career? No.
Our acting career? No. 
Our fashion designing career? No. 

Am I as rich as we would've wanted to be? No.
Am I as skinny as we would've wanted to be? No. 
Did I travel as much as we wanted to? No. 

Did I run a marathon? No. 
Did I go wild? Well, yeah, but as much as we wanted to? No.

Obviously Tee, we don't always get what we want. And sometimes, life takes unexpected turns. And you can't control all of that shit. I know, it must be hard for you to understand with your control freak nature. It's hard to let go and give the lead to someone/something else.

But that also doesn't mean, we never get what we want. 

Am I still blogging? Yes.
Am I working harder for what we want? Yes.

Did I meet amazing people? Yes.
Did I work with great brands? Yes.
Is our voice still as loud when it comes to defending the things we believe in? Yes.
Am I as crazy as we always were? Yes.

Am you being our-self? Yes.

So dear 30 year old me, here are a couple of things I want to explain. As a 20 year old, I know them now, and I don't ever want you to forget them, so I had to write this for you.

A lot of times, you will feel lost, sad, angry. You might get your heart broken, you might see a dream or an opportunity get shattered. You might feel insecure. A lot of times, you will be comparing yourself to others. A lot of times, you will fake a smile.

But a lot of times, you will get back up on your feet. A lot of times, you will forgive and forget, and let go. A lot of times, you will find a will and a way. A lot of times, you will be as strong as you've always been. And that's the way I want you to be.

Be as crazy. Be as wild. Be as happy. 

At the end of the day, it's the pursuit of happiness for all of us. And I never want you to leave that thought behind. 
Whatever you want to do, do. Whatever you want to say, say. 

Keep growing, keep educating yourself.
Keep believing in you, and in the world. 
Keep being the same positive little bundle of joy you've always been. 

Forget what-ifs and learn to always choose what makes you the happiest.

Keep dreaming. 

Love,
- Your 20 year old self.

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